I listen for them and allow them, ask for them. Gifts of immeasurable wealth. By turning towards them they become increasingly more frequent and they deepen.
Clearly distinguishable from thoughts now. Thoughts feel so different - something made actively, sharp edged- turning the cogs of my mind making it crank, move, whir and my eyes squint and focus. Instead, inner knowing, also named ‘intuition’, is chenille pastel pink, arriving as softly as the passing velvet belly of a mole - digger of dirt. But it takes courage to listen. Most have warned me over my short life time to be wary, to not listen. Maybe this is because they are afraid of what might be revealed? Is it the uncertainty? Perhaps change, endings, or worse death? Best to put it away in a closet and to close the door, to keep safe. But in being still I have looked at death closely, squarely in its wild, black eyes I have seen that where there is death so too is its twin - life - sitting alongside hand in hand. It is there somewhere... in the glint of the cornea, the turn of the eye in its socket. Knowing this brings faith and trust and belief in better places. As intuition becomes stronger over the years sometimes ego has wanted to shout brashly “I brought you this gift- look what treasures I have brought to you – you could not have done it without me!”. But intuition knows better than that and reminds me gently whenever ego shouts too insistently.......”Sarah, intuition was not of your doing. Yes, it was an allowance made by both of us but first came the offering, remember that!”. *************************************************************************************************************************** Three years later.......I am in a marae (a Māori meeting house in New Zealand) brought there to learn about the Māori culture. I am drawn to the square woven tukutuku panels hanging on the walls. Made of differently coloured dyed flaxes one pattern in particular catches my eye. My intuition tells me to look more closely at this panel and its meaning, beckoning. I am a loyal servant now and do its bidding willingly. It is the end of the class and as the other midwifery students head to lunch I notice one of the Māori elders is still in the room. I go up to him and ask “Can you please tell me the meaning behind these patterns?” Stepped like patterns climb up this tukutuku panel. I do not know this is the pattern ‘poutama’ (stairway to heaven – steps to sacred knowledge ). “Aaaah those represent spiritual growth. Once we have advanced each step in growth then it is time to be levelled out again and knocked down so the ego doesn’t get too much opportunity to convince us we are bigger than we think we are or more special”. Spirit has a grand sense of humour it seems but also an infinite amount of tenderness and compassion for the human condition. Comments are closed.
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